5 Things Narcissists Say and What They Really Mean

Nicole Baptista
3 min readJan 6, 2021
Photo by M. on Unsplash

If you’ve ever dealt with a narcissist you’ll know their actions and words can have you doubting yourself and wondering if you’re just going crazy.

Chances are, you’re not going crazy. Narcissists are expert manipulators and belittle their partners in order to give themselves a sense of self-importance. They intentionally distort your reality through their words so that they have the upper hand in all situations.

Here are a few common phrases narcissists use, and what they actually mean.

1. You’re Too Sensitive/ You’re Overreacting

Translation: “I’m gaslighting you. I’m invalidating your feelings and at the same time shaming you for feeling the way you do.

Even though you’ve had an entirely reasonable response to my crappy words/ actions, I’m going to make you second guess yourself. You’re starting to catch on to my abusive behaviour and I really don’t like that.”

2. I’m Sorry You Feel That Way

Translation: “I’m not sorry at all. But I’m going to pretend that I care so that you can forgive me and I can make the same mistakes all over again. I also refuse to take the blame for anything.”

This type of ‘apology’ is truly disrespectful. It’s a smug and patronising way of making you feel that YOU are in the wrong, not them.

You suddenly start to feel bad for the way you acted or overreacted. That’s exactly what the narc wants. Don’t fall for it.

3. You Make Me This Way/ It’s Your Fault

Translation: “ I’m not going to take ownership of my words or actions. That would wreck my sense of superiority and my (fragile) self-esteem.

In my eyes I’m perfect. Therefore, I’m going to put the blame on you and make you feel bad about yourself. The weaker I make you feel, the more I can take advantage of you.

I’m always the victim.”

4. I Never Said That

Translation: “That’s EXACTLY what I just said (and exactly what I meant), but I’m going to deny it, and make you feel like you’re going crazy. The more I manage to…

Nicole Baptista

Writer I Poet I Language Teacher. Let's talk: Spirituality, education, feminism. Also baby goat obsessed. Www.nicolebeewriter.com Insta: @nicoleandthemoon